So....

Tomorrow is nearly upon us, a stressful day for lots of us unfortunately. Had a bit of a breakthrough with Zoe last night, she has all this anger and love bottled up inside and she finds it hard to express it or let go if it, it's so tightly internalized that it takes so much work to actually get to the root of it. We talked properly about how she is feeling about tomorrow, the problem is that so much emphasis has been placed on the actual day but she is feeling this grief all the time, it weighs so heavy on her that it has clouded her confidence  and self worth. I tried to tell her how proud her Great Nan would be of her and that she would love the young woman she is becomming but I worry that she just doesn't believe me. Luckily she has lots and lots and lots of family and friends that love her and in turn she loves back. She has had a really hard time for the last goodness knows how many years, it's taken her a long time to find out who she really is and she is starting to really get there now, which is testament to her strong character because I'm nearly 34 and I have no idea who I am, what I want or even whether I am worth enough to get up in the morning!

She is warm, kind, loving, funny and a delight to live with, I just wish she would realise all this.

My day is stressful tomorrow because I have my trial at Debenhams and I am going to be working solidly on a comprehensive merchandising plan... I am nervous with all the ussual self doubts someone has when they are trying their hand at something they are passionate about. The old demons get into your head and make you question your talent, self worth and all the ussual suspects arise. I am on my own tonight too as BF is currently travelling down south to his gigs and Zoe is having some time with her lovely boyfriend. I will get my head into my portfoli and make sure all the t's are crossed and i's dotted, then an early night x